12/5/2024

Content Call 

We covered:

• Your Thoughts, Captivated
• Kids and school trouble and diagnoses

11/21/2024

Hot Seat Call 

11/7/2024

Content Call 

We covered:

• Your Thoughts, Captivated
• Borrowed each other's clothes and tried on some new "outfits"

10/17/2024

Hot Seat Call 

We covered:

• Unraveling unconscious thoughts, bringing them in to the light, finding better thoughts to think.
• Normalizing age-appropriate behavior
• Seeking diagnoses for your child
• Healing relationships by focusing on repairing and loving them now and into the future rather than worrying about what may have effected them in the past

09/26/2024

Content Call 

We covered:

• Overview of Your Thoughts, Captivated

09/5/2024

Content Call 

We covered:

• Preview of how practicing Thought Captivation can help in hard moments, ie: the dentist's chair

6/6/2024

Content Call (Summer Planning)

We covered:

• Menstrual cycles and energy rhythms
• 2nd "Brain" where you hold all the things (eg: Notion app)
• Survival Mode Summer
• Jesus as Husband, going to him before going to the physical

3/5/2024

CEM Call

We covered:

• Reviewed key concepts introduced in 2024!
• Discussed the tension between "Thy will" and "my will" and how to navigate the minefield of idols that lie in the gap while also resting and rejoicing in the One who, on my behalf, never failed to submit his will to the Father's!
• Reviewed and dug deeper in to the Freak Out Plans.

2/1/2024

CEM Call

We covered:

• Checked in on goals from January's call
• Explored the connection between our thoughts about our circumstances and how the feelings those thoughts produce drive our behavior
• Introduced concept of "Buffering," the things we do to avoid feeling the feelings that are trying to tell us something important 

Freak Out Plan

Create a Freak Out Plan while you are calm and cognitive. The goal is to use this Freak Out Plan with as much frequency and intensity as possible. This is how we take radical responsibility for how we are showing up in the world. This is:

• self-regulation
• emotional maturity
• taking your thoughts captive
• managing your mind

The FIRST step (which we may have opportunity to take multiple times in a day (it's 9am and I've already had one 😁)) is to NOTICE that we are "ZAPing," Freaking Out, Melting Down, Spirialing, etc. You have to practice catching yourself in the act. 😉 When we are doing this, it's characterized by this:

Z

We Zoom in and catastrophize.

We Zoom in on the ONE thing that's not working. We get in to "all or nothing thinking" which is a mental distortion. Negative emotion comes from negative evaluation (thinking). We're flowing along in the river and hit ONE boulder and stop flowing and fixate on the one thing.

A

Then we Attach it to Self.

"This always happens to me."
"This is happening because I suck/am not good at xyz/there's something wrong with me."
"This is happening because I'll never figure it all out. I'm not enough/smart enough/disciplined enough/Christian enough." 

P

Then we Pause, Procrastinate, and/or Punish.

We stop doing the little things that build up in to real change (drinking water, moving body, calling friend, journaling, practicing gratitude). We put off doing things we know will help (cleaning the kitchen, eating vegetables, scheduling dr appointment). And sometimes we even punish (finish all the dessert even after no longer enjoying it, unnecessary deprivation, pick a fight with husband, oversleep, overeat, undersleep, undereat, negative self-talk, etc.).

We've talked before about the importance of knowing your cycle (as in, your menstrual cycle) so you can anticipate and plan for the fluctuation in your needs and capacities. 

KNOW THIS CYCLE TOO. Tune in to this and start to notice when you are starting to ZAP and use that word as the trigger to get that Freak Out Plan going. Your Freak Out Plan should be tailored to you. Here is a place to start and tweak from here.

My Freak Out Plan

Taking radical responsibility for my own self.
With frequency and intensity, I notice the ZAP that is keeping me from my desires, routines, goals and tasks AND stealing my joy.
With frequency and intensity, I "summon the best of who I am" (this is intentionally in quotes because it's how the speaker said it but it doesn't quite resonate with me and my worldview, ie: the best of who I am is inextricably linked to and found in the person of Jesus Christ - thank God!). When I am at my best, I am remembering my Lord: what He said, what He promised, who He is, what He has done for me, where I am headed.

How to get from ZAP to Self Regulation:

1. See that I need a good ZAP.
2. Name the feelings that I am feeling. Research shows that labeling feelings gets you a little bit out of the actual feeling and back in to your executive brain (thinking, cognition, decisions, problem-solving).
3. Honor the feelings I am feeling. Don't shame them, dismiss them, they're just feelings and they're trying to tell me something. Do some digging to uncover unhelpful thoughts and beliefs, if time allows. If not, just keep going to the next step.
4. Turn down the dial of those feelings by:
   1. breathing deeply
   2. going for a walk or run
   3. move body in some way (dancing, yoga, stretching)
   4. praying (out loud or in writing, if possible)
   5. hear and believe God's Word
   6. trust him, let it go, give it over to him and his will
   7. let go of outcomes
5. Do the next thing. Take another step. Ask for help. Get more clarity. Do a brain dump and make a list. Get in to action.

1/15/2024

Hot Seat

We covered:

• Taking radical responsibility for our own freak outs.
• Getting in to action to manage anxieties. 
• Pursuing health so that we can be more present.
• Creating measurable action items to mitigate ambiguous "not enough" anxiety

Thanks to Andrea and Mallory for being vulnerable and sharing their burdens with us!

1/1/2024

2024 Reflection & Planning

Print off your workbook and invest some time in your mindset and plan for 2024. We will check in on these on future CEM meetings to help you stay the course with your hopes and goals.

12/18/2023

Hot Seat: Screentime, Noise and Potty Talk

Good stuff in here, friends. Man, was it fun for me to get to be in the Hot Seat. Holly did a wonderful job coaching me!

12/01/2023

December's CEM Meetup

Watch the replay for ideas on how to stay focused on Jesus during this busy season!

11/01/2023

November's CEM Meetup

The holiday season is staring you down, my friends. On this month's CEM Meetup we started a staring contest with those holidays because we want to actually enjoy them as much as possible!

What do you want out of it?
What's your favorite part?
What often goes awry?
What would you like to change about it?
What can you do now to make it easier later?

Watch this replay and then join us in the Community for the CEM Holiday Season Challenge!

9/25/2023

Pray about not wanting to pray.

There are many reasons I don't want to pray ranging from laziness to fear to unbelief. Perhaps even more important than the prayers I avoid praying for all of those reasons are the prayers I get to pray ABOUT those reasons. Because Jesus brought me in to His relationship with His Father, I can courageously tell God about all the reasons I don't want to pray:

"I'd rather watch tv." 
"I don't trust you to do what I think you should do."
"I don't think my prayers really matter - you're just going to do whatever you want." 
"You didn't answer prayers that were so important to me and that resulted in so much pain and sorrow. Now I'm having a really hard time wanting to pray about anything ever again."

Take advantage of the privilege of your Sonship. Pray to your Father like your children "pray" to you. "WHY?" "I hate this." "I'm going to put you in the garbage." (My son used to say that to me when he was mad at me. 😂🥰)

None of us believe this enough but the most important thing in your life is your relationship with God. Use everything you can to grow deeper in that. He can handle your honesty. He knows it all anyway and is not ashamed of you or clutching his pearls.

9/13/2023

Am I screwing up my kids?

I've heard this question a lot. I used to ask it a lot, too, until one of my church elders responded with, "Yes. You are. Did you think there was another option?" I bristled at first, as I'm sure you are, but once I understood more about how the gospel applies to this, I've found great freedom in this answer.

Aubrey asks...

Okay, so I can’t believe I’m having to ask this, but how does one “brain dump” exactly? 🤣🙈 I’m still finding myself wanting to like, organize my brain dump and I’m not sure if that’s even how this is supposed to be done!😅

September's CEM Meetup

That's you, mama. The CEO of your life. The CEM of your family. The Chief Executive MOM.

Do you take time to think like a CEO? Because you are one. You are the Chief Executive Officer of your life and you are the Chief Executive Mom of your family. Ain't no other mama. It's you, sugar plum.

If you've never studied your vocation, this is a great little intro. You are not called to do everything. But the God of the Universe has called you, yes, you, my little sweet cake, to at least a few vocations you can know for sure.

1. You are His very-loved child.

2. If you have kids, you have been called to the vocation of motherhood.

We all can get overwhelmed with "all the things," all the tasks and details and events and people (and their whining). This usually happens when there's a change in seasons, roles and schedules. I am FEELING that right now with summer rolling in to fall.

Light a pumpkin candle, grab a pen and paper and maybe your calendar and climb a tree with me. Let's get up above the canopy so we can catch a glimpse of the forest.

We can proactively anticipate the needs and rhythms of our family and maybe make the next couple months go a little more smoothly.

Go share your 3 things in the Goal Setting Challenge and then follow along with the weekly Check-Ins for the next 8 weeks. We'll do another CEM Meetup November 1st and look at the upcoming holiday season!