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Intro Music: Welcome to the Bad Christian Moms podcast.
In this first episode, we are going to unravel your reasons for clicking on a podcast called Bad Christian Moms. What kind of a person would do that? Perhaps you are a gospel hungry, drama free mama, in which case you are going to be delighted at what you find. In the end, I'm going to help you determine whether you should hightail it on out of here or whether you should stick around because this podcast just might change your life.
I can't make your life easy, but I can help convince you that your relationship with God has been made easy already, and that makes everything else easier, too.
This is episode one of the Bad Christian Moms podcast. Hello, [00:01:00] my little sweet pea. My name is Sara Sery, but this episode is going to be about you. We need to talk, my little sugar bean, because you just did a pretty weird thing just now. You clicked on an episode of a podcast called Bad Christian Moms, and we need to talk about that.
Why did you do that? Why would you click on something called Bad Christian Moms? By the end of this episode, You will know if it's going to be worth your time to tune into more of these episodes or not, if they're only going to infuriate and frustrate you. Actually, it may still be worth your time to tune in, even if I do frustrate and infuriate you a little from time to time.
But what I mean is by the end of this episode, you will know if Bad Christian Moms is a bandwagon, you'll want to hop onto or not. Bad Christian Moms, that title attracts and [00:02:00] repels certain types of people, which is intentional. So first off, let me just say that if you're hoping this is going to be something kinky, It's not.
Over the years, I've had people pop along that were hoping that Bad Christian Moms was going to be something a little kinky, but that's not what this is. So assuming that's not where you're coming from, something else has drawn you in to listen to a podcast. called Bad Christian Moms. Perhaps it's because you feel like you're a bad mom.
Perhaps it's because you feel like you're a good mom. Maybe it's because you sometimes feel like a bad Christian. Maybe you're already mad at me for having a title like that, for having the audacity to call someone quote unquote bad. That's fine. We can talk about that. You can get mad at [00:03:00] me. Or maybe you yell at your kids and sometimes things come out of your mouth that you never thought you would say.
Maybe you are parenting in ways that you never thought you would parent. Shaming your kids, even though you swore you would never do that. Maybe you are baffled at the fact that you prayed and prayed to have kids, and now sometimes you wish you could hand them back. Maybe you feel terrible for not enjoying this, for not enjoying motherhood, for not enjoying your kids.
Maybe you thought you'd be better at this than you are. Maybe you're super disappointed in yourself and you're assuming that God must be disappointed with you too.
Maybe you wonder why God doesn't just make you a better mom so you don't ruin your kids. You've been praying. Why doesn't he just fix you for your kids sake?
You're praying, but he doesn't seem to be answering. Maybe you are [00:04:00] a little bit at a crisis of faith and having a lot of serious doubts about God.
Maybe you are actually able to keep things pretty cordial outwardly, even towards your family, but inwardly you are swimming in a sea of loneliness.
Maybe you are super lonely in your marriage and you wonder why God let you marry him.
Maybe you never want to have sex as much as your husband does and you feel really bad about that. Maybe you hope I'll talk about that on this podcast. Maybe I hope I do too. We should definitely do that. Maybe you have been thinking you're the only one struggling and when you saw something called bad Christian moms.
You thought you could go over and see whatever that is and maybe feel better about yourself because at least you're not as bad as those people or that mom. Maybe you thought [00:05:00] you'd find some people who are worse than you and that would make you feel better about yourself. And I'll be honest, you may indeed find someone who is worse than you.
I may indeed be worse than you. But my hope is not that you would feel better about yourself here because you discover that I'm worse than you. My hope is that you would feel better about yourself because instead of thinking about yourself at all, you would spend a little time with me thinking about someone who I guarantee.
is more engaging, astounding, and enthralling than you think he is.
You see, my ideal listener which I hope that you are, is someone who can recognize that they are a bit of a wreck, a bit of a hypocrite, perhaps a bit cynical, a bit crass, and yet you have a sneaking suspicion that all you long for is really, [00:06:00] truly, somehow. Going to be met in the person of Jesus Christ.
Are you someone who would laugh at the movie Bad Moms? And then turn around and weep at the movie, The Passion of the Christ.
If some of that is resonating, then hooray. I'm so glad that you are here. And I genuinely hope that by listening to this podcast, you discover two things. I have two goals. One is to convince you that you are not alone, that you are not the only one. And second to paraphrase, something I read once, although you are more sinful than you realize.
You are also more loved and accepted than you could ever dare hope.
I will attempt to convince you of these two things, and myself. I have to be convinced of those two things over and over and over again, too. So everything I say to anyone out there I'm also saying to myself. And I will endeavor to convince all of [00:07:00] us of those two things while unraveling the relevance of the gospel to as many aspects of our lives as I can.
Parenting, friendships, roles and vocations, work, church, household management, personality types, marriage. Sex. Pretty much everything. The gospel matters in everything. Over the years of working with my clients, I've developed an arsenal of psychology informed, theologically grounded tools and perspectives to use in this season of your life in order to mature in ways that last.
For the next season, for the future seasons of your life, why not use this hard season of motherhood to grow and mature in ways that will help me show up better in the next season? More mature in the next season, more convinced of God's love, more ready to love others [00:08:00] in the next season.
I was getting a master's in counseling when I first got pregnant, it was unintentional. So, I was pregnant and taking master's level, parenting classes and childhood development classes and learning all about emotional intelligence. And I thought I was going to be so good at being a mom, my kids would be so emotionally intelligent and every other kind of intelligent as well.
And then I actually had kids and became a mom and found it to be so Much harder than I thought it was going to be. Going from having my life pretty much revolve around just me and my husband some too, to then revolving all day, every day, revolving around like all of my energy, all of my time, my whole entire day revolving around someone else was super hard for me.
And the hardest part in so many ways was having to see myself in the midst of it, [00:09:00] having to see myself be so ignorant of what to do, of how to care for my kid, so resentful of a baby when I had to get up out of bed. Again, and then as he got older and multiplied into three, I have three boys, seeing other things bubble up inside of me, anger and bitterness and selfishness, just every day having to see that in myself.
I don't feel like I had to. see that in myself. I wasn't as aware of those things in myself before I had kids, but after I had kids, it was like every day I had to notice how bitter I was. Every day I had to notice how selfish I was and I was having anger. I was having anger coming like exploding out of me in ways I had never experienced.
I had never had an anger problem or at least I didn't know I had one until I had kids. I had no idea that was in me at all. One time, I mean, I punched a wall, I've at times yelled so harshly my [00:10:00] throat would hurt for the rest of the day, reminding me of of my utter lack of self control.
I didn't even know I could love another human. I didn't know I could love another thing as much as I love my kids. I didn't even know that. I had never experienced that kind of love before. Until I got to love my own children and those people, the ones I love the most were the ones I was exploding all over.
I was becoming more and more convinced that I was impossibly far from ever fulfilling what I knew God's laws and expectations were. It had never more starkly, it was never more starkly contrasted in my life, except for maybe when I had first become a Christian. The contrast between who I was and what I was like, and what I knew I was supposed to be like.
Patient, kind, [00:11:00] gentle. Self giving? Self sacrificing? Mm mm.
I knew the fruit of the spirit was, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control, and I could just plainly see I was not doing that every day. I knew he had called me, had called us to be slow to anger, but I was not. I was quick to anger. I had a sharp tongue. I still do.
My mouth had no control. bridal, and this was to my own small, vulnerable children. He laid down his life for me, and I couldn't even get through one day of laying mine down for my own kids without a motherload of anger and resentment and self absorption. And, you know, the, the comparison, like constantly comparing how much time I got away from the kids as opposed to my husband, how much he got away.
Nothing used to drive [00:12:00] me more insane than having to help them with their dinner while mine went cold. That was a particular one that just drove me crazy that I, and that I hated seeing how much it drove me crazy. It's like what gluttony and selfishness that I'm like so obsessed with eating food while it's hot.
That I, like, get up from the table all in a huff because my little kid needs help eating.
And you might say, and I would agree with you, this is all normal. That's all normal. Everyone experiences that, and I would totally agree with you. That is like normal. If you're experiencing that, you are not out of the realm of normal humanity. That is what, that is super common. You're not alone. Um, but just because we all do it doesn't mean it's right.
Doesn't mean it's okay, or righteous, or godly, or loving. Just because we all are [00:13:00] unloving, doesn't mean it's okay to not be loving,
even when we're all doing it, it's still wrong. It's still sin. We have all fallen short. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. And I knew it. Mercifully. At the same time, I was going to a church that preached the gospel, not the gospel and then, not the gospel and so you better be better than you are, or you better get your act together.
The gospel is so rich and deep and robust, the pastor seemed to have no trouble filling every sermon with it. And it was taking root in places for me that it had not yet taken root. I was seeing how it, how relevant it was to my current, daily, struggling, mundane life for the first time. The [00:14:00] gospel wasn't just for getting saved, it was for Monday.
When I yelled at my kids again, or when I hid under a blanket to cry so my kids wouldn't see, or when I seethed with bitterness when my husband would waltz in from a day out in the world and wink at me like I'd be in the mood after having been crawled on and whined at all day. The gospel was for that. The gospel was the soothing balm that whispers life and peace and forgiveness and hope over a broke down mama.
You are forgiven. This is forgiven. You are forgiven. Now and always. God is going to heal you. Even now in this, he's changing you and digging out weeds and planting truth and joy. Jesus has gifted you his own righteousness, so you are blameless before the Father, not because of who you are and what you have done, but because of who [00:15:00] he is and what he has done.
His wrath for this very real sin. Has passed over you and been placed on him so there is now no condemnation for you. God is not mad at you. He is not disappointed with you because you have been caught up with his son United to his son so you can access him and his help and his spirit anytime all the time.
You can come to the throne of grace and receive help and mercy anytime. All the time.
That verse in Hebrews says, come boldly to the throne of grace to receive help and mercy in your time of need. And there felt like there was no more bold a time for me to come than right after I had totally blown it.
Learning my relationship with God is [00:16:00] unshakable. I cannot shake it. It's wholly dependent on Him. And what he has done and not on me and what I do. What a relief. What good news. That is good news, my friend. Good news that makes you celebrate joyfully, sharing. You share when you, when you hear good news, you want to share it with other people.
That's what the gospel should feel like in you. Good news.
Gospel hungry, drama free mamas. That's all it really takes to be a bad Christian mom. Are you hungry for the gospel? If you're interested in a bunch of drama, then listen to something else. Drama free mama is what I'm looking for. That's my ideal listener out there is a gospel hungry, broke down, broke down mama, but a gospel hungry, [00:17:00] drama free mama.
If that sounds like you, then subscribe to this podcast and buckle up.
We are going to dive together deep into the depths of God's love and the grace of Jesus Christ. See you in the next.
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. Hey, thanks for listening. I appreciate you, and I have so much more I want to tell you. So click subscribe, and I will see you in the next episode of the Bad Christian Moms podcast.
